Tapestry of Colors, the Pieces of My Childhood

I’ve always loved the book “Toto Chan” because it recounts stories of someone’s childhood in a simple but special way. I can always relate to the stories and it gives me flashbacks of my own childhood. It has given me the initiative to try to recollect some pieces of those early years. You know those memories that make you smile in spite of yourself…

I had been thinking of ways to do this for a long time. I came up with ideas and dead ends simultaneously until I wondered if I should abandon the project altogether. Then, out of the blue, the opportunity just came up.

One night, dad asked me to find the driver for our HP DeskJet F2480 all in one printer. He had lost the driver and told me to download it from the internet. So I went to the site and had no trouble downloading it. The thing that took a long time was installing it. I guess being the family technician isn’t the best job for me. After several frustrating ordeals, I succeeded in making the printer work with our PC. We can now print, scan, and photocopy with no trouble.

The next task I had was scanning some old family photos. So, as soon as the printer was installed, my siblings and I started the task. It was a moment of nostalgia. Between the processes of arranging the photos on the scanner, scanning, saving, organizing, and cropping the images into individual photos, we came across some funny, cute, and heartwarming photos from our past. It was this occurrence that provided me the means to start working on that almost forgotten project.

So now I have so many photos to choose from. Each photo has a story of its own. Thus, I have so many stories to share and I hope that they will make readers relate to some special memories of their own childhood. Let’s finally begin, shall we? ;)

un, deux, trois…

The beginning should start with… the beginning, right? I have been looking for a photo of myself when I was a baby. This is the best I could get.

As you can see, in the photo above is my mom holding a slightly-confused-looking me. It is my birthday – a statement easily deduced from the balloons, streamers, and “Selamat Ulang-Tahun, Naya” poster on the wall. There seems to be quite a few people there to celebrate that day but, unfortunately, I have no memory about this day at all (I didn’t expect to have any). Well, the picture is almost as old as me. It’s practically an artifact (laughs).

At least I can comment upon a few details in this picture.

Firstly, my expression hasn’t changed. Judging from various candid photos over the years that follow this one, this expression is one that shows up often.

Secondly, It is so special that my mom and dad could actually manage to hold a birthday party for me at that time. Mom has told me plenty of stories about their struggle in the first few years of marriage. We weren’t exactly millionaires. However, with the help of friends and family, they could hold a simple gathering to celebrate their daughter’s first year.

I think Mom is wearing the golden dress that she made herself. Mom is so good at sewing. And cooking… and cleaning, and singing, and plenty of cool skills I can’t seem to get a hold on to. Anyway, I wish she would start sewing again. She used to make us (me and my sister) a lot of pretty dresses (I’ll save that for another post). But after a while, she became busier. We moved around a lot too and we haven’t acquired another sewing machine.

Lastly, I remember there was a time when I was petrified of balloons. I wonder if it started that year. Who knows if one of the balloons popped into a million pieces that day and became the starting point for my fear of explosions. ;)

Here is another picture someone took that day. This time, Dad is holding me, wearing a batik shirt that matches my mom’s dress. I like the goofy smile on his face.

My expression is still the same: wide-eyed and confused. But it seems that I know what to do when a camera is near. Look.

I like that there are a lot of little kids around. I wish I recognized one of them though. I could then look him/her up on Facebook and say “Thanks for coming to my first birthday!” Maybe it’s 22 years too late but oh well.

Behind Dad there is a stack of pink boxes. It is probably filled with yummy food that the guests can take home. I wonder if Mom made them herself. For as long as I can remember, Mom always made the food for our parties, with the help of a couple of friends and family.

I wish I could tell you more about this picture. I’m sure my parents have a lot to say about it but I haven’t interviewed them yet. I don’t know if I will since they might have some objections about me uploading these pictures in the first place. One of them might be an embarrassing photo for them. (laughs)

But I like that the photos look old and antique. As I have said, they are images that are almost as old as I am. I am so lucky to have it and preserve it like this. Later, when I have my own kids, I can show them this picture and tell them tales about the early years of their mother’s life. My mom likes to do that often. It is a shame that she doesn’t have any pictures to show me while she recounts everything.

Do you have pictures of your childhood? Keep them and treasure them. Preserve them anyway you can. They are pieces of your history.

That’s why I’m labeling this type of post “Tapestry of Colors”. The photos are pieces of my childhood, my life, and my history. Together, those pieces form a tapestry with so many different patterns and designs. Just like the aspects and events in life, as God’s grand design. As we live on, we keep weaving that tapestry with new patterns and designs.

And life is full of colors. As I walk through the past, I am discovering colors that I never knew existed

I want to continue painting with pretty colors today… Who knows what colors I’ll discover tomorrow.

Keep weaving your tapestry. Cherish your life.

A Recollection of Thoughts About My Birthday

More than a week ago, on the 18^th of June, precisely, was my birthday. The special, or rather extraordinary occasion that took place, was not in relation to the day. I had no party. No treats. No outings. I have no resentment towards the absence of any form of celebration. I had every intention of treating it just like any other day and it wasn’t as if I never held any celebrations on normal days. Everyday could be a birthday if the main criteria were the fulfillment of any of the occasions above.

The special thing about this year’s birthday was that I totally forgot it. I would have never thought such a state of mind would ever be possible in my case.

When I was little, my birthday was always a big deal. I guess it’s one of the blessings as well as curses that come to you if you were a first child to parents like mine. My birthday was always celebrated with the typical cake-and-candy scenario until I was about 11 years old. After that, as I became supposedly more “grown-up”, the fun and games transformed into outings and treats with family and friends.

As I got into senior high school, the occasions became less festive but more religious (in search of a better word). My family and I prepared gatherings at home for our close friends and neighbors. We would serve traditional food and drinks for the guests and ask one of my friends or neighbors to lead us into a prayer to Allah to thank Him for His blessings. It was a nice change.

When I got into college, the occasions became a lot simpler. It was usually in the form of treating my friends to food we all like. One of the great things at that time was, my friends liked to make birthday surprises for me. I remember the times when my dorm friends pretended to forget all day and surprised me with cake and presents at night. I remember when my friends from STAN EC came to my dorm at 1 am, also with cake and presents. I remember when my class mate and also class captain poured a bottle of water on my head on my 19^th birthday.

After college, there were no more celebrations. The occasions that signaled it was my birthday were the Happy Birthday wishes through calls, text messages, and Facebook. I still got some presents too. It’s not that I did not like treating my friends and holding gatherings, but the change suited my condition. I have been living far away from my friends and family during the last two years. Distance makes some things difficult to do. Among them, celebrating my birthday.

Anyway, the most important thing these days is celebrating every day that I can be with my family and friends. Those times don’t come easy anymore. So whether it is my birthday or not, when I am together with them, it is worth celebrating. Consequently, I don’t feel like celebrating my birthday when they aren’t with me. That was the case this year. I guess the feeling kept building until my mind decided that the memory wasn’t worth keeping. Other than that, I got busier so I always had a lot of things on my mind. My focus was divided as it was.

I wonder what birthdays are like for other people. Is it the non-stop occurrence of festive celebrations? Or does it slowly transform as time goes on? Do some people not celebrate it at all?

I don’t know what my birthdays would be like in the future, but I regard them as checkpoints – like in those video games. It is a parameter for evaluation and introspection. So I can be in a mood for celebration or mourning depending on the results.

In this self-indulgent quest, sometimes failures might seem more evident than achievements. Sometimes age might seem more of a curse than blessing. But I think time itself, as the dimension given, is a blessing and a test. A test itself is a chance, a challenge, and an opportunity.

So let’s just try our best, shall we? “,

Good luck!

Home Again!

It feels so great to be home!

I can never get tired of saying that.

It feels so great to be home after days of exams, weeks of projects, and months of lessons.

It feels so great to be home after scurrying after the most affordable ticket, 12 hours on the bus to reach Soekarno-Hatta Airport, 2 hours on an airplane, and a 1-hour-queue for the immigration check.

It feels so great to be home after months of being so far away without daily communication and being jealous for all the family outings spent without me.

Nonetheless, this blog still comes to mind amidst all the joy and overwhelming relief. I have neglected it again, due to the exams, projects, and tasks that have to be tended to before I could go home with a good conscience. Consequently, now I am safe at home but with a guilty conscience caused by this blog.

Thus, on my second day at home, I thought I could spare some time away from the inhabitants of my home to conjure up some words for my beloved blog which, to my astonishment and bewilderment, has managed quite well on its own in socializing with readers.

A couple of weeks ago I was very surprised to see the amount of views gained, even though I haven’t posted anything in such a while. Obviously, I am glad for this because more people are visiting and it is likely that more people are reading my stuff (no matter how nonsensical the contents may sometimes be). Many thanks to all the visitors, especially the readers, for this lovely surprise! Keep visiting! ^-^

I promised to myself that I would write a couple of interesting posts during my stay here. You can expect a recount of mystical experiences from a writing challenge by Seagate (keep ‘em coming, guys!). After that, a few of my slightly obnoxious and intentionally sarcastic articles about some interesting issues. Then, maybe a story and some poems just for fun.

For the meantime, before that… I’ll enjoy my holiday.

Happy holidays everyone!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Do you remember that movie based on Lemony Snicket’s books, “A Series of Unfortunate Events”? I had the opportunity to relate with the Baudelaire children, although my misfortunes were not as extreme or fantastical (thankfully).

During the couple of weeks, I have had two singular misfortunes which lead to other unlucky consequences:

1. My laptop’s keyboard is broken. It started being broken about two weeks ago. The person at the service center said that it might take while to fix because the parts weren’t available yet. I couldn’t go on without my laptop for too long because I had tasks and projects pending. I couldn’t write a post for this blog in a long time because of this. So, in the end, I bought a flexible external keyboard to use for the meantime.

2. I have had a blistering cold for more than a week and my voice is still funny. It’s the worst one ever with its combination of headaches, fevers, and a consistent runny nose. Not to mention the thunderous sneezes in between. I’m a mess. Because of this flu, I had to miss a couple of classes, meetings, and even a job interview (could you imagine answering interview questions with a croaky voice and disgusting sniffs every couple of seconds?).

Anyway, people say, one bad thing can lead to another. This is so true. I felt so unlucky for two weeks, missing all the important classes, meetings, opportunities, and projects. It took a while to catch up. But the storm has started to subside. I can feel my cold disappearing slowly. The last classes for the semester are approaching and I can organize my time better, finally. I knew I could catch up in the end. Most of us always do.

I have also had my share of really good luck. I breezed through a couple of tests. I got accepted as one of the adjudicators for NUEDC (National Universities English Debating Championship) in Yogyakarta (yay!). I got to have a great weekend eating and watching movies with my best friend. I get to share my knowledge and practice with the debaters at my school for the upcoming NUEDC. And I have so many exciting events to look forward to this week.

So, I will be pleased to report to you that I will be back to normal and catch up with the posts I owe some of you for the writing challenge. (Cheers! Haha…)

Keep spirited and cherish your luck, everyone!

Breaking Point 2#

Exasperation is when you try to talk to someone logically and reasonably but they won’t try to understand. Frustration is when they keep going back to a point that has been resolved and answered. Annoyance is when they harass you and bully you without a good reason. Anger is when they won’t listen at all.

Just when you’re sure there is something good in everyone and start to be extra positive, you meet this kind of person.

 

God will test you if you’re worthy.

 

 

24green on the Elevator Pitch!

The title above may be ambiguous or simply nonsensical to those who don’t really know (or have never heard of) such words or phrases. I’ll explain them one by one.

24green is the name of my team which consists of 3 people: Ria, Hining, and I. We were one of the teams competing in the very first elevator pitch competition in Indonesia which was held by UGM (Universitas Gadjah Mada). The theme for the competition was “Elevating the Benefits of the Green Industry”. This competition was one of the many events held by the Faculty of Industrial Engineering to promote the green industry.

The name 24green was derived from two elements: 24 and green. We basically wanted people to implement the green ways of living in the 24 hours of their lives each day. So this became the name of our team as well as the name of our main project for our elevator pitch.

Now what exactly is an elevator pitch? It is quite a new thing in Indonesia. Meanwhile, students in the US have been participating in this type of competition for years. So I was rather curious as to what it was – that curiosity being the reason for me joining this competition in the first place.

Wikipedia says that an elevator pitch is a short summary used to quickly and simply define a product, service, or organization and its value proposition. The name "elevator pitch" reflects the idea that it should be possible to deliver the summary in the time span of an elevator ride, or approximately thirty seconds to two minutes. So I understood it as a kind of speech plus presentation plus advertisement combined into one which consequently turns it into none of those things in the end (laughs). Anyway, after seeing further information and examples from my buddy YouTube and the internet, it became clear what an elevator pitch was supposed to be like. My teammates and I discussed it frequently to reach our conclusions about it. After all the basics were clear between us, we did our research, brainstormed for all the possible projects, and practiced giving our pitches in public.

I really enjoyed our meetings and practices. I think we understood each other and had a good sense of loyalty for the team. We had great chemistry so it was always fun for me, even when we were studying hard and burying our minds in the research material. Sometimes we reached a lull because we couldn’t think of any ideas for a certain topic, but we always had a laugh about it afterwards.

Anyway, we tried hard through and through. I was the leader of the team so I was in charge of the meetings and practices. Ria was the research manager, so she kept track of all our material, discussion notes, and reports (tough job, I’ll say). Hining was our administrator, so she had to manage our registration process and keep in touch with the committee for information about the competition.

We gave our best at the competition. Sadly, it wasn’t our time to win it. However, Allah always gives hikmah. Every cloud has a silver lining. We achieved a lot of things in the process. We acquired knowledge about the green industry. We gained deeper understanding about how important it was to save the environment. We thought of so many great ideas for future projects. We upgraded our cooperation skills. And best of all, we became closer as friends.

As a team leader, I have to say that I am so proud of my friends. They say that they have never followed such a competition that required them to speak in English in front of so many people. I realize that their courage isn’t something to be thought little of. I admire them for their perseverance and efforts (and also their willingness to work with such a leader as me, hehe…) all this time. I am sure they worked really hard to prepare for this competition and with that hard work they gained their own personal achievements.

I thank Allah so much for this chance and this experience. I hope we use every bit of knowledge we got from it to achieve our best in the future.

Keep reaching for the stars, 24green!

My First Concert: IL DIVO at Ritz Carlton, Jakarta

I have loved IL DIVO since I was in High School. My family and I used to watch their DVD every week, while enjoying a meal or a snack. Their music blazed through our house in high-quality stereo (we managed to get the original DVD). I wonder what the neighbors said.

Anyway, I was fortunate enough to live to see them – in flesh. Thanks to my good friend Harvin, I got a chance to watch their live concert in the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Jakarta on the 25th of February 2012. I was so excited. It was my first concert ever! So, this post is dedicated to the event. It is also a reply to Harvin’s writing challenge, which is to write about watching IL DIVO. Thanks again for the request, Vin!

Here is the picture of the concert tickets. I shall treasure this picture forever so that I can tell my children about my first concert (LOL).

Harvin got us great seats. We got quite a good view of the stage without having too many heads block the way. He said that he almost always got good seats in a concert. It was something he always made sure of when he booked tickets. This is an idea of the view you’d get from our seats.

We were very fortunate to meet a new friend. She was sitting beside me. Her family was crazy about IL DIVO. She attended the concert with her mom and dad. I wish I could’ve brought my parents along. Maybe next time…

Finally, the concert began. I was so excited I could barely sit still! They entered the stage so elegantly and, as usual, sang an opening number. I don’t remember what the song was (LOL) so don’t expect me to remember the song list. I’m not much of a fan, aren’t I? But I bet Harvin would remember so you can ask him for the details.

But I can tell you this: they were perfect. They sung marvelously and I don’t think there was any mistake. Their voices were flawless. It was like watching their DVD. In comparison to other concerts, you could always agree that the studio version was better because of all the editing and stuff. But IL DIVO really is the real deal.

I had goose bumps at almost every song. I almost cried when I listened to them singing my favorite songs, Regresa A Mi and Si Tu Me Amas. I wished my mom was present when they sang Mama. It was her birthday that day and it would’ve been such a great birthday present. They sang it for you, Mom…

Well, at least mom can see some pics I took (sorry for the bad quality!) and view some of the videos I had recorded. Here they are:

Greetings from IL DIVO!

IL DIVO singing my favorite song, Si Tu Me Amas:

I have many others but I’m afraid my site won’t be able to handle so many pictures and videos at the moment. So I’ll end this by giving many thanks for my parents and Harvin for giving me the chance to go to my first concert! You guys are the best.

Homework: 5 questions for you

This is my first post in 10 days. I haven’t been on kind terms with time lately. I am currently following a competition so the past week has been dedicated to practice (I’ll write about that later). Anyway, here is a quick post and I hope you enjoy reading it!

I received some homework from my friend Amel a few days ago. It’s a few random questions to think about and publish on our own blogs. Thank you for the opportunity, Amel!

1. Kalau kamu jadi tokoh dalam sebuah novel, kamu mau jadi karakter kayak apa?

I want to be female character (duh) that is the typical heroine. She is smart, tough, and caring. She has a strong protective instinct for her family and friends. She also has a vulnerability that makes her human, like the ability to love and cry. Examples of this type are Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, Hermoine Granger from Harry Potter, Storm from X-men, and Arya from Eragon. I’d like to be Saphira from Eragon too, but we’re a completely different species and genus, so they’d have to make a CG interpretation of me as a dragon. Elves are closer to my species and they’d only have to CG my eyes and ears a bit. (I’m such a geek sometimes, and proud of it, LOL).

2. Kamu paling ngerasa mahir masak apa? Boleh pula dibagi alasan dan resep ala kamunya. (Jawaban seperti air, nasi, telur goreng, dan mie instan ga masuk kriteria yaa)

Haha… This is hard. You’ve eliminated the majority of my dishes. I guess I’m pretty good at making pudding. When I’m lucky, I can also make pretty good fried rice. But I am sure I can make a killer sandwich and mini pizza!

3. Di antara semua barang yang pernah kamu beli apa yang paling bikin nyesel udah membelinya? Kenapa?

Hm… I usually think through the items I buy a hundred times before I do buy it. Just ask my close friends. However, the image that always comes to mind when I think of regret is a blue shirt I bought at a retail store in Mataram. It was really cute – on the hanger. To this day, I rarely buy any clothes without trying them on first. I am also very picky about price. I almost always try to bargain to half the price before the shopkeeper and I come to a conclusion. Then I always check other stores in the market (at least 3) that have the same item. Then I decide whether or not I could make the piece of clothing myself, after rethinking repeatedly whether or not I need it.

4. Kalau kamu diberi kesempatan jadi sutradara sebuah film yang diangkat dari buku, buku apa yang kamu filmkan? dan siapa main cast yang kamu pilih?

Oo… this is going to be a long answer. I love movies and I have read enough books to keep me hooked. Let’s see… I would like to remake the classic “Little Women”. My favorite character, Josephine March, would be played by… Natalie Portman (I’d like to play her myself!). The handsome Theodore Laurence would be played by Orlando Bloom.

Next, I would like to make a series from The Baby Sitter’s Club (my childhood favorite) books. My favorite character is Dawn Schafer and she would be best played by someone fresh like Blake Lively, Amanda Seyfried, Kirsten Dunst, and Evan Rachel Wood. My other favorites, Mary Anne Spier and Claudia Kishi would be played by Lily Collins (or Camilla Belle) and… Kristin Kreuk? (I can’t find anyone perfect for Claudia yet. Kristin is gorgeous like Claudia but I wanted to find someone taller). Oh! I know who can play her! Devon Aoki, the girl from 2 fast 2 furious! (just browsed through the google images too look ffor actresses after finishing this post). Stacey McGill would be best played by Rosie-Huntington Whiteley or Sara Paxton and Kristy Thomas would be played by Emma Stone.

5. Silahkan kamu memberi 5 pertanyaan kepada maksimal 5 orang terpilih!

I would like to give the following questions to my fellow blogger Mas Seagate, my wacky biological sister Kiky, my best friend Blue Spy, my lovely dorm-room sister Ainin, and my treasured junior and sister at College Talisa.

1. If you could inspire the world, how would you want to do it and why?

2. If you were a member of the high government, which job would you take (president, minister of what, etc.) and why?

3. If you were a mythical character, what would you like to be and why?

4. Which fairy tale or folklore do you like the best and why?

5. If you could send 5 questions to other bloggers, who would they be and why? (make 5 questions to other bloggers and encourage them to keep blogging)

Those are my questions, guys. Please let me know when you have answered them so I can check them out.

A Short Story for a Writing Competition: “Eternal Summer”

Below is a short story that I made about a week ago to participate in a writing competition at my Campus. Please have a read and tell me what you think about it. What is your interpretation of it? What do you think happens?

Eternal Summer

There are infinite ways to tell you how much I love you:

A slice of chocolate cake on a summer’s evening. A glass of warm milk before bed. A tight hug to wish you a wonderful day in the morning. A kiss on the cheek to say “goodnight” and “sweet dreams” before you sleep.

The first thing I need to see every morning after I wake up is you. I need to see your face glow under the early rays of sunshine streaming through the windows as you sleep peacefully, waiting for me to wake you up. I need to see your beautiful face, the only face which sends those butterflies to my heart, which makes everything I do for you more than worthwhile.

You are so beautiful.

I remember the first time I saw you. It was a bright sunny day. I was bored and restless after an uneventful day at campus, seeing the same people, listening to the monotonous voices of the lecturers trying to explain philosophy in the most uninteresting way. I had decided to be an “exile” again that day. I separated myself from all the individuals by sitting under a tree and immersing myself in a book. It was a literature about William Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 18”. I remember the verse I was reading very clearly:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date…

I was thinking about the possibility of such a beauty. Of course, Shakespeare was abusing his metaphors, as usual, in depicting women and love. I doubted that I would ever encounter such things and was skeptic to the prospect of both things ever appealing to me.

That was until you came along. You changed everything.

As I was musing over Shakespeare’s words, unfocusedly gazing into the distance, I noticed you. I finally understood what Shakespeare meant.

You were walking with a group of girls, talking about something that must have been funny because you laughed, exposing your wonderful smile. I saw your blue eyes twinkle merrily. I witnessed your golden hair play with the wind and shine under the summer sun. You instantly became my summer. No, you are more beautiful than the season of summer. You are the summer – the improved and perfected version of summer.

After that day, I literally felt that I could not live without seeing you. I hungered for you like a man who has fasted for days on the Sahara desert. I craved for you much like a pregnant woman craves a specific type of food. I was head-over-heels in love for you. I experienced all the sensations: irregular heart contractions, increase of body heat, frequent perspiration, and “butterflies”.

One day, I said hello to you at the library. You were alone without the usual accompaniment of the other girls. You smiled and greeted me back. I asked if I could join you and you nodded. I sat next to you and started to engage you in a conversation. We had a nice talk. You were so friendly and sincere. As I sat next to you, I could grasp your wonderful scent. You smelt like fresh violets, which further enhanced your beauty. I was intoxicated.

From that moment, I decided that I had to have you. I needed you. I could never want anyone else as much as I wanted you.

I tried so hard to be your lover, but it was so difficult because everyone adored you. Every man seemed to be enchanted by you. It was inconvenient that they were all physically superior compared me. I wasn’t handsome like them. However, I was smarter than all of them put together and you realized that, didn’t you? You enjoyed our talks because you admired my intellect. I could satisfy your hunger for knowledge. You frequently asked me to help you with your assignments. Most of the time, I ended up doing it for you, but I didn’t mind. It wasn’t hard for me and it meant I could spend more time with you.

However, some men succeeded in distracting you. One of them was called Eric. He was the typical stud plus an exceptional athlete. He excelled at every sport. The university had even granted him a football scholarship. He dated you for a long time. Unfortunately, he broke his leg terribly one day so he couldn’t play sports anymore. He became so immersed in grief that he decided to end his relationship with you. Luckily, you got over him quickly.

Another one was called Adam. He was the lead vocalist in a band. He had a wonderful voice and you developed a crush on him. However, he too was unlucky. He got very sick from food poisoning and permanently lost his voice. Feeling so depressed for his loss, he turned to drugs. He became a junkie and you had to leave him for your own safety. I’m glad you did that.

Then there was Michael. Michael wasn’t too special, just an average college student with no special abilities. He didn’t excel in anything. But you loved him very, very, much. It puzzled me a lot. How could you love someone that wasn’t special? I was special, unlike him. Unfortunately for you, Michael disappeared mysteriously one day and nobody knew where he had gone. The authorities looked for him everywhere, but they couldn’t find him.

You were devastated. I saw your sorrow. I saw you tears. I saw your glow gradually fade away.

I tried to comfort you. I sympathized as well as I could. I told you I would always be there for you. I expected you to turn to me since I had dealt with our “obstacles”. They weren’t going to disturb us anymore. However, you didn’t respond to me like I thought you would. You were in so much pain. You thought that life was not worth living anymore because you had lost your true love.

I nearly lost you.

Another summer went by. To my satisfaction and gladness, I became your savior. I could not bear to see your beautiful face stained with grief and pain so I did every measure needed to save you. Finally, you stopped crying. Your face was no longer so sad. Most importantly, you have me and I have you. You are mine and I will always be yours.

***

You are so beautiful. There are infinite ways to tell you how much I love you.

Every day, I am with you in our cozy little house for two. I look after you like a devoted and faithful servant of a queen. I bathe you and clothe you. I brush your beautiful hair. I even learnt how to do your make-up for you. Everything I do for you is worth it, because I get to have you. We get to be together.

Today is the same as any other day. This morning I woke up and tended to you, as usual. Currently, we are having breakfast together. I had prepared pancakes with strawberry topping. You have always loved strawberries, especially on a warm summer’s day.

“How are the pancakes, sweetheart?”

You don’t answer.

“What’s wrong, dear? They are good, right? I tried my best when I made them.”

“…”

“Okay then. Just drink your milk.”

“…’’

“You are quiet, as usual. I wonder what has gotten into you.”

“…”

I sigh. You haven’t said a word to me since that day. Never mind. It doesn’t bother me too much. I didn’t really expect you to talk to me. The important thing is that I get to have you.

I pick up the copy of Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 18” in my lap and open the second page. I start to read my favorite verses to you:

“Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

I gaze at you in admiration. You are as still as ever, but perfect, as always. I sigh and smile. Shakespeare was always right about your beauty and my love. It is eternal.

I give you a warm hug and whisper in your ear.

“You are so beautiful and I love you. Nothing can ever stop me loving you.”

 

“Not even death.”

 

Jogja, 13^th April 2012

By: Walissa Tanaya Pramanasari

Music for My Soul

This is my first post in response to the writing challenge that was given to me by Ugik. He requested a post about Music.

I have less knowledge in music than I aspire to. I am weak in reading notes and memorizing all the keys. I don’t know much about the history of music. Plus, I wouldn’t consider myself as an acceptable musician (I sometimes claim to be a pianist. I wish.). So what would I write about?

The one thing I am sure I am good at when it comes to music is listening. I am an expert listener and I am sure many of you are too. You just don’t realize it as much as I do (boast).

You don’t need to do much to be a professional listener of music. Just keep quiet and listen to the cacophony of sounds that infiltrate your senses. Next, try to listen to something else that is very important. Stay quiet. Can’t you hear it?

It is your soul responding in its own tune, merging harmoniously with the music and creating an assortment of feelings and emotions to be experienced.

Sometimes, if you listen carefully enough, the music will grant you access to “see” things. Just close your eyes and you will see the image that the music is trying to convey to you. You could also say that your soul encodes the music into an image – a representation of the music that is understandable to you.

Here are some examples from my experiences:

• Beethoven – Fur Elise: This is one of the first pieces I learnt to play on the piano. It is one of my favorite classical pieces. When I listen to this song, I feel romantic and sentimental. I see an 18^th century ballroom with golden light and dancing people.
• Toshio Masuda – Sadness and Sorrow: I love the Naruto soundtracks. That is how I got to know this composer. When I listen to this song, I feel mildly sad and sorrowful (the tittle succeeds) and I picture myself next to a river on a cold autumn day and crimson leaves are falling down.
• James Blunt – Tears and Rain: I start thinking of things of the past and it puts me in an introspective mood. I see myself travelling in a sepia scene.
• One Republic – Stop and Stare: I love this song. It really connects with me and I sometimes thinking that it was made for people like me who were so confused in a point of their lives. It really came to me in time of need. So I feel huge gratitude when I listen to this song for understanding me and telling me that I am not alone. I see a city scene with high buildings. Behind me is a black and white that reaches far into the past. In front of me is also a road. It is in full light and I cannot really see where it leads to, but I am walking towards it anyway.
• Kokia – Shiroi Yuki: I really like this Japanese song. It makes me feel calm and cool. I picture snowflakes falling on the fields outside from a window of a cozy house.

I think that by now you will get the point of what I mean. The experience is unique to every person based on their real life experiences. Just couple it with a good imagination and you can enjoy so many different moods and go to so many places without exerting much energy. You don’t have to move. Just close your eyes and listen. That’s one of the many gifts that music brings to us.

However, there is a caution to be told. Don’t immerse yourself so much in the music that you forget everything else. Sometimes I find myself enjoying the indulgence of a sad and soppy tune so much that I become an “Emo”. Happiness has no more appeal. Careful there. Don’t let the music steal us from the reality. It’s okay to let the music “sympathize” with you sometimes. Listen to more of Toshiro Masuda’s tracks and it just might help you release that grief. But afterwards, remember to pick yourself up again with some happy music. The gloominess shouldn’t last forever. I like to turn on some old Britney Spears songs and just have fun. What’s your happy jam?

I have also discovered that Music can cater to my spiritual needs. I really like listening to Ahmed Bukhatir, Maher Zain, and Yusuf Islam. Their melody is heavenly. I always feel at peace when I listen to their music. I recommend them to my fellow Moslem brothers and sisters.

Music is a gift from God to be invented and kept by mankind. It has continued to develop and grow in our history, serving us so many purposes, limitless to the possibility of new creations and functions. One of the major benefits we can feel from it is that it feeds and enriches our soul. Let us cherish it and use it well.