Happy Eid! It’s Always the Time for Improvement

Honestly, I have no urge to write or do pretty much anything that requires a bit more thinking or elbow grease. On the contrary, I can actually think of many topics I want to write about and I have dozens of tasks pending. I’m just too lazy. The only statement to justify this disposition is: “I’m on holiday, dude. Sue me.”

However, I have mustered just enough willpower and energy to write this post. I have two things to write about. Initially, I wanted to make two posts – one topic per post, obviously. But, again, it just seems too herculean a task right now. Plus, if I did one topic now, the other would end up in the “pending” pile for an immeasurable amount of time. Then my guilt would build more and it would be oh so pleasant, wouldn’t it?

Do I sound sarcastic? I might’ve slept on the wrong side of the bed, but I think I slept well last night. I don’t know why I woke up with an ounce of sarcasm. Or maybe I’m just sarcastic to begin with.

This is getting me nowhere.

Okay, firstly, I want to greet everyone with a huge EID MUBARAK!

Taqaballahu minaa wa minkum shiyamana wa shiyamakum.
Ja’alanallahu minal a’idin wal faidzin.
May Allah accept it (good deeds) from you and us, the fasting from you and us.
May Allah place us among the returnees (to the state of fitrah) and the winners (of the inner struggle against the nafs or base desires).
Please forgive me for my mistakes and wrongdoings.

I had a great Eid, Alhamdulillah. I spent it in Malaysia with my family. I praise Allah that we could spend it here together, all of us complete.

As usual, we had the Eid prayer in the morning. Here, we had it at 9.00 am. Well, everyone went to the big mosque except for me. It was that time of the month again so I couldn’t pray. I just stayed at home and cleaned the house.When everyone came back from the mosque all fresh and pretty, I was still a mess. At least the house was more welcoming (laughs).

In the afternoon, we went to some of our neighbors’ houses for silaturahim. I don’t know about everyone else, but I ate a lot that day. I had chicken curry, rendang, ketupat, sayur nangka, asinan, cookies, cake, and many colorful drinks. Afterwards, we took some pictures (we mostly means my sister, my mother, and I) as our personal memorabilia of the day, like we do every year.

*One of the pics we took after visiting a neighbor. As you can see, we love purple.

Secondly, I want to share a thought that has been stuck in my mind. It is actually something commonplace but I would like to utter it in the following words:

You could spare just a few seconds to make someone happier. Use those few seconds well and you could make such a difference.

No, this is not implying the typical I-want-world-peace wishes of a beauty pageant contestant (although it is perfectly relevant and okay to do so). It is just something I have witnessed at home and I think everyone can relate to it.

Being kids, we must have tormented our parents with our disobedience a few times. Do you remember refusing to do the dishes? Do you recall making up reasons to avoid doing chores? When was the last time you pended a task your parents asked you to do with a classic “later” or “in a minute” remark?

Whether we are aware of it or not, we were royal pains and we might still be so. I don’t have to lecture you about how being a parent or guardian is hard and how much work they have to do and how much time they sacrifice to make our homes worth living and so on, right? We all know. If you aren’t aware of all this, give yourself a dose of corporal punishment (read: smack on your ungrateful backside).

Now, most chores don’t take up a lot of time to do. Taking out the trash, for example, is a task we could do in five minutes, including the decontamination process later (read: thoroughly washing your hands *my OCD alert*). Washing an average amount of dishes takes ten minutes. Sweeping the floor takes about fifteen minutes.

Observe the other seemingly tiny things we frequently overlook:

1. Tidying up your own toys after playing: 5-10 minutes (unless you have like 100,000 Lego pieces and you used it to make a life-sized dinosaur or something, it might take more minutes)
2. Ironing your own shirt before school (or work): 5-10 minutes
3. Making your own bed: 2-5 minutes
4. Washing your own plate after a meal: 1-2 minutes
5. Picking out your clothes carefully, assuming they’re folded neatly in your wardrobe (instead of yanking them out in a hurry, as we do so often, creating an avalanche in the process): 20-15 seconds
6. Throwing your dirty clothes into the laundry basket instead of leaving them to decompose on your bedroom floor until your mother finds it: 5-10 seconds
7. Putting your coat on a hanger after using it: 5-10 seconds
8. Switching off the light in a room you’re not using anymore: 1-2 seconds
9. Putting the toilet seat down after use: 1-2 seconds
10. Saying thank you: 1 second

Of course, you could add so many things to the list above. Most of them don’t take very long to do. Compare them to the other things we do in our free time or in place of the chores we are supposed to do. A conversation with your boyfriend/girlfriend on the phone could take an hour or more. Browsing the internet could take hours (I’m guilty). Checking your social media profiles could make hours breeze by and you would be the least aware of it.

Another thing we tend to forget is how much difference we could make if we spared our time to do those things we frequently overlook. You could save your parents, guardian, roommate, or anyone who has to put up with you every day from muttering words of aggravation under their breath. You could give their patience a huge break. You could reduce their workload quite significantly. You could actually determine how they’d start their day.

Best of all, you would make them exceptionally happier.

Is that so hard?

The tricky part is mastering the willpower to do everything. Most of our faults come from bad habits and habits are hard to change. However, if we don’t change it we’d definitely regret it in the future.

So, how about it? Could we gather the determination to change our habits? It will only cost us a few seconds, but the reward is priceless.

Besides, it’s never too late for improvement. Ramadhan and Eid has already provided us the great momentum for betterment. Carry on.

Have a happy year ahead!

Ramadhan, a Month Full of Blessings

Ramadhan is here again. Praise Allah who has given us the blessing life so that we can experience it again.

This year, I have mixed up feelings about Ramadhan. Of course, I am happy because I get another chance to greet it, but I am also anxious about it because I might not do it justice. Self-pity is also present because it is my first Ramadhan spent far away from my family for this long. Yup, I’m still in Jogja and will still be here until the final days of this fasting month.

Why am I still here? Well, it’s not because of an unpleasant thing, really. I actually have quite a few jobs to do (yay!), among them teaching “English for Midwifery” at a midwifery academy in this city. I am grateful for it and it is fun. However, pleasure comes with sacrifice. I have to teach until late in July and miss out on spending almost the whole month of Ramadhan with my family. Consequence.

Next, I have a bundle of projects at hand including event organizing and my (neglected) arts & crafts projects. Debating and adjudicating is a routine activity. A few articles are pending on my writing list. I also have some books and a magazine to edit. I accepted a request to design a special outfit for my friend. It is imperative to make arrangements for my little brother’s college enrollment. Plus, there is a pile of my student’s homework, assignments, and tests waiting to be marked.

Hence, this blog has nearly reached its final breath. I checked my blog stats and they are atrocious.

So, it is more than appropriate for me to try to get at least half of the above done before I go home, right? It is totally impractical to manage everything from as far as Malaysia where I can’t even make an important phone call to my colleague without getting a headache from the phone bill.

But then Allah tests us in many ways. Fasting far away from the comfort of home (and the prospect of Mom’s delicious cooking) with work and projects to do is a challenge indeed. I have to learn how to teach in a classroom in the middle of the afternoon to inevitably hungry and unenergetic students while gathering the focus to forget my own hunger and be as lively as I can. On the other hand, I get to occupy the free time that I have to be productive instead of indulging myself in laziness while waiting for Magrib – when I can finally eat like crazy.

Waking up for Sahur is also challenging. Mom or Dad isn’t here to wake me up lovingly and patiently. There’s only my annoying and emotionless phone alarm blaring at 3 am in the morning. Then I drag my zombie-like body to make almost the same meal every day. Try having either instant noodles or rice & sardines with a glass of an oatmeal drink every day before dawn. It’s quite a picnic. I curse myself for being so pathetic at cooking. So, don’t ask me why I don’t prepare dinner at all. I go out to buy my meal at a local warung (kind of a small and simple place that serves traditional food) every day, half an hour before Magrib.

Anyway, the description above isn’t actually to complain. I actually find everything hilariously enjoyable. I face the prospect of Sahur with an ironic chuckle and breeze through it with little difficulty. I cherish dinner (even if I still drool at the thought of Mom’s cooking at home) and ravish whatever food I buy, however simple it is. But then again, I almost always finish my food (the exception is when I’m sick), every last grain of rice, even when I’m not fasting. I love food. I learn to cherish it more by fasting and I believe a lot of people get to do so as well.

Allah has promised us so many benefits from fasting: the virtue of patience, the blessing of health, the gift of empathy, the wisdom of charity, and so much more. I thank Allah for being able to fast without much difficulty. It is an opportunity to gain his blessing, achieve his ridho, and bring us closer to heaven (InsyaAllah).

I do hope that I can get all the benefits of Ramadhan and feel the long-awaited and craved sense of achievement from devotion, worship, and prayers. After a whole month of fasting during this holy month, it is said that Allah forgives our sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever fasts during Ramadan with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven. Whoever prays during the nights in Ramadan with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven. And he who passes Lailat al-Qadr in prayer with faith and seeking his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven (Bukhari, Muslim).”

We get a chance at a blank slate. A chance to renew ourselves. Start over.

Isn’t He indeed the most Merciful and most Compassionate?

 

Wallahu a’lam.

 

Happy Fasting, everyone!

Once Upon a Time

Hark,

The angels are loose on the edge of the jagged cliff,

And the demons are marching into the scene,

And all the king's men and all the king's horses can't save you from the fall,

As the sky crumbles and shards of broken clouds pierce your skin.

 

Don't scream,

When the fairies are burnt to ashes,

And no knight in shining armor comes to save the shrieking damsel in distress,

Watch the giants smash the once majestic castles,

And the city of lights turns into the city of flames.

 

Deep down,

You know that fairy tales are not meant to come true,

A fairy godmother will never come to dry your tears,

The genie will never grant you 3 wishes,

And the wicked witch may triumph over your fears.

 

So fight back,

Pull the sword out of the stone,

Fashion your own armor,

Saddle your horse,

And march into the battle.

 

Before the hypothetical doom is too evident,

Before the ending is here,

 

You can turn the tale around.

 

The Endless Fuel Debate: Government vs. The People

This is a post that I wrote for our Campus magazine, POINT. The issue is a bit outdated (by a year, lol, and the edition was published very late because of a few technical difficulties), but I want to share it anyway, since I got a lot of the info from my friend Seagate, and he inspired me to write about it. Here goes, Pal! Thanks for your help!

Currently, there is a debate on whether or not the price of fuel should rise. In essence, there are two equally strong teams, voicing out their opinions about it. It might remind you of an Austral-style debate setting, where there are two teams: Affirmative and Negative. The motion for the debate is: “This house believes that the price of fuel should be raised”.

The affirmative team is the government team. The supporters are most of the representatives, the high officials and the civil servants, seated rather uncomfortably in the audience. They base their opinions on the fact that the international price of the refined fuel oil has skyrocketed, leaving them no choice but to lift the subsidy in proportion to the consumer price resulting from the crisis. “We can’t take the subsidy anymore” they say. “We need to use it for the other sectors.” “It is more than our budget can take.”

The negative team, which comprises the majority of the society, responds to this argument by emphasizing all the detriments that may come from this proposal. “Extreme inflation”, “significant decrease of purchasing power”, and “poverty” are (and has always been) their major headlines.

Meanwhile, we can hear a joyous shout of “hear, hear” in approval of the negative team. We question whether or not this is an objective opinion or just a vain attempt to gain the people’s sympathy. It is indeed suspicious since the owner of that voice is sitting among the members of the party obviously striving to gain a place on the government “hot seats”.

The blitz from the camera’s light up the room. Journalists are scribbling on their notepads, no doubt in the process of creating yet another sensational article about their favorite black sheep: the government.

On the next day, the news is filled with the accounts of the last debate, in a slightly twisted narration. Yes, certain well-known media are very creative with their words. There is immediate uproar. The people are out on the streets, pioneered by an army of students, claiming to be academia but strangely acting like Neanderthals. They parade the streets proudly while stopping at the nearest McDonalds to cause mayhem. “Look! We are on TV,” they say. Then they prance to the headquarters of the House of Representatives. “Let’s break this fence while we’re at it!” And so they did.

April 1^st was supposed to be the dreaded apocalypse. The fuel price would rise to Rp6000, an extra Rp1500 from what they had to previously pay. However, the day passed without mayhem. The implementation of the policy was pended until next month. The people could finally sigh in relief.

Little did they know, the government did not cancel the motion to amend themselves in response to the society’s demonstrations (or so the society thought). In regards to article 7 paragraph 6 letter A of the Revised State Budget (APBN-P) 2012, if the average of the Indonesian Crude Price (ICP) during the last 6 months increases or decreases 15% relative to the International Crude Oil Price that was assumed in the Revised State Budget of the year 2012, the government is permitted to adjust the fuel prices and make the supporting policies related to it. In fact, the average of the fuel prices in the running period prior to April (October 2011 – March 2012) was $116.52 per barrel. The assumed international crude oil price for the running period was $108 per barrel thus a 15% increase would equal to $120.25 per barrel (information derived from the Ministry of Energy and Human Resources online database). We were still under the limit. This is the legal and rather economical reason behind the cancellation of the fuel price hike.

However, this logical reason is either neglected or unknown by the society. Possibly to enjoy their satisfaction derived from the assumption that it was them indeed that had the government on their hands and knees, thus revoking their policy for the current period. And why shouldn’t they enjoy it?

It is a small treat compared to the disappointment they have to feel day after day, after receiving news about the latest government corruption case, proudly presented by the media as if it were the latest fashion. The majority of the audience isn’t any better. They’d swallow the information whole, like a hungry little bird that has never stepped out of its nest. Meanwhile, the opposite parties couldn’t be happier as opportunities to gain power become more evident.

The fact is: fuel is not renewable. The stock is scarce. Experts predict that the stock may last for only 30 years. So, whether we like it or not, the international fuel price shall rise. In the meantime, alternative solutions are always sought for.

Currently, the latest development is about the government trying to implement fuel usage restrictions in the society. “You have to have a specific type of vehicle to use premium,” they say. Of course, the people start to mutter incoherent protests, maybe devising another animal attack on the government premises. However, did they consider the other restrictions? “All government owned vehicles are not allowed to use premium fuel.” “Government offices will serve as a pioneer to conserve electricity in offices and houses.” “There will be a conversion of fuel to gas.” It doesn’t sound so bad, no?

***

There’s always something positive about the government. Not all of them are corruptive criminals. Sure, sometimes their regulations seem to be imprudent or poorly prepared. Sometimes they make mistakes. That is why the society is given a right to protest and sound out their aspirations. However, there is question to whether or not they can do so as a “civil society”. Current wisdom suggests that blindly diving into a demonstration, conducting vandalism, and practicing ignorance is not the answer. We are blessed with the freedom and right to educate ourselves, but it is easier to listen to the negative whispers of provocation rather than reasonably assess the situation from different perspectives (anonymous quote).

The politics will never die and the battle may never end. We have to learn how to survive. One way is to remember that it doesn’t have to be a debate where only one side can win. It should be a discussion that ends in a fair agreement. This way, both sides can be winners. Sure it sounds rather utopic but it wouldn’t hurt to try our best, right?

(Naya)

Sources:

http://www.detik.com

http://seagate354.blogspot.com

http://www.depkeu.go.id

http://www.esdm.go.id

The Long Awaited Family Vacation

It’s been more than a month since my last post. The “writer’s block” syndrome has hit me again. Combined with a hectic schedule and constant travelling, it is indestructible. Nevertheless, I am back and I owe myself and this sad blog a post. Luckily, I have something quite interesting to share: my first ever family vacation!

On the 16^th of March, I went to Bali for the first time in years to meet my nuclear and extended family from my dad’s side. We were all very excited because some of my siblings have never been there before. It felt very special to be complete, at last, at our grandparent’s house. We did a LOT of catching up. As usual, we swapped stories about school, work, and daily habits, eager to catch up with every detail that we have missed all this time.

*My little brother, my young aunt, my mother, and I at our home in Bali

I was so happy to meet everyone. As usual, I ate a LOT. As a student far away from her home and family, that’s normal, right?

We stayed in Bali for three nights and four days before departing to Lombok on the 19^th of March. I was just as eager to touch down at Lombok. The last time I went to Lombok was around three years ago, all by myself, to prepare some documents for work. Of course, it wasn’t a satisfying trip at that time because I was preoccupied with all the bureaucracy.

Anyway, this time it was a real holiday. We stayed at a hotel during our stay at Mataram. It had a pool so my brothers got to fool around in it (none of them can actually swim properly, haha) while we laughed at them. My extended family from my mom’s side came to visit us often. It has been such a long time since I saw them last. My old friends from high school also came to visit. I was so, so happy to finally see them again. We went on plenty of outings and shared many stories. So many interesting things have happened while I was away.

*Some pictures of my best friends in Mataram (we held a fashion makeover session and my friend creatively edited the pictures from the occassion)

My old house was finally sold. My best friend was going to get married. My cousin was also planning for a marriage. Some of my classmates already had kids. A lot of things have changed.

Unfortunately I couldn’t do everything I wanted to before I had to go back to Jogja on the 22^nd of March. I couldn’t visit my grandmother’s grave. I couldn’t attend my cousin’s pre-wedding party. I didn’t even get the chance to go to any of the beaches. Someday later, maybe…

I plan to visit Bali and Lombok again, of course. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but as soon as I can. I didn’t realize how much I missed both places until I came back. The same goes for the people. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I saw them…

Geez… I’m getting sentimental. Back to reality!

Gotta study hard and work hard. Maybe I’ll be successful enough to visit my two homes regularly, someday. Amin.

Wish me luck!

 

PS: I wish I could post more pictures. Unfortunately, I lost my bluetooth device for my laptop so I can’t transfer the pictures from my phone to my laptop yet. I might post them later when I’ve found it – or bought a new one.

Especially for You, Mom

I haven’t dedicated a post especially for my mother. I have been meaning to do it for a long time, but there was always something else I had to do, which is not a good enough answer, I know. But today, February 25th, is her birthday, the least I can do for her is this. So, here it is, a post dedicated to you, Mom.

There are so many interesting things people should know about my mother. For one, she is the greatest cook ever. She can cook anything she wants, from gourmet dishes to fancy desserts. Out of all the dishes she makes, my favorite is her “sambal goreng tempe”. It’s a simple dish, but she can make it extraordinary. That’s how good of a cook she is.

My mother is also good at designing and sewing clothes. My sister and I are her main models. She has made so many pretty clothes for us since we were very young. I remember her talking about having a boutique someday. She would name the brand “Nakayda” which is her acronym for all her children’s names.

*My sister (right) and I (left) wearing the dresses she made for us at Idul Fitri, 2013.

*Another dress she made for my sister.

My mother has a lovely voice. She used to sing a lot, on big stages, when she was young. She is also good at traditional dancing. When I was in primary school, she taught me my friends how to do a traditional dance from Lombok. When we had to perform it for our school, she prepared everything by herself, from our practices to our costumes and make-up.

*My friends and I performing a traditional dance from Lombok (mom actually made all the costumes by herself).

Like everyone, she has hopes and dreams. But like most mothers, she has had to sacrifice a lot of them for her family. In the past, she wanted to be a career woman with a stable job, earning money independently. She had all the basic tools for it: brain, beauty, talent, and great personality. Then, when she was only 21, she married my father. He wasn’t against her job, but he had to go far away for a long time to get his Master’s degree. As a good wife and mother, she went abroad with him, bringing me along when I was just a baby. In doing so, not only did she have to quit her job, but she also had to endure living far away from her close-knit family for years. I know my sister was born when she was far away from her own mother and that must’ve been tough on her. Nevertheless, she was faithful to my father and caring towards her children.

My mother came from a rich family with a high position. No doubt she was used to living comfortably with her family with everything she wanted at her grasp. Like most girls, when she was young, she must’ve dreamt, at least once, of marrying a man with a fancy castle for a house and having lots of money to buy pretty clothes. But she chose my dad, a man from the countryside with only a couple of Rupiahs in his pocket. After they got married, all he could afford was a small house with only a couple of rooms and very simple furniture. However, my mother was patient and she supported my dad all the way, helping him become the man he is now: a wonderful, loving father who dedicates himself to spreading knowledge, earns honest money from his job as a lecturer, and provides all the things his family needs. He couldn’t have done it without my mom at his side.

Right now, her main purpose in life is to be a great mother. Throughout my life, I have watched her do her job, in laughter or tears, in sickness or health. Like most children, my siblings and I are a handful. Each of us has caused our share of problems. I am not proud to admit that we have even made her cry so many times. Even so, she has survived all the storms. She has never deserted us. She wipes our tears away and embraces us with warmth.

When times are hard, she never forgets to tell us this: “When there is something wrong, tell me, your mother. I will never desert you. I will keep all your secrets. You may not always get this from a friend, but you can always trust me, your mother. I will always be there for you. I pray day and night for you, for your happiness and salvation.”

 

***

 

Dear Mom,

I know that you have many problems of your own, but you never hesitate to help us solve ours.

I know that we frequently ignore your words, but you have never failed to lend us an ear when we need to talk to you.

I know that doing all the housework must make you so tired, but you keep the house so wonderfully comfortable and cook delicious meals just for our pleasure.

I know that you get sick often and, despite that, we still disturb you, but you never really left our side when we were sick, always checking on us every minute when we needed a snack, a warm drink, or even a massage.

For all the above and more, thank you.

 

Dear Mom,

I know that you have had hopes and dreams of your own but you had to sacrifice some of them for your family. I know that sometimes the old dreams come back to bother you and tease you with regret. However, know that we could not have been the way we are now, a wonderful family, without the decisions you made. I hope you will forever be content with the knowledge that we owe so much to you and that we admire you and we are proud of you. I hope that I can at least be half the woman you are when I become a mother.

 

Dear Mom,

I know that I have countlessly disappointed you, but know that all I want is to make you and Dad proud. I believe all your children feel the same way.

 

Finally, I wish you a happy birthday, Mom. I’m sorry that we are so far apart and the only present I can give you is this simple page of words. I pray that Allah blesses you with health and happiness. Keep being such a great mother.

 

 

Love,

Your daughter, Naya

 

*A picture of the family my mother and father have raised. We love you, Mom!

Equilibrium

 

Do you see that silver line at the end of the sky?

It’s where the ground seems to touch the clouds

And the lush green fields evaporate into thin air

It’s where dreams are made, and hope is stored

It’s where imagination finds its freedom

And the possibilities are endless

 

Now look at the ground beneath your feet

Where everything is exactly as you see it

Where the senses collide with the absoluteness of reality

And you may gain only what your hands can reach

 

Sometime, long ago, we all stood on the edge of the horizon

Gazing at the blue wilderness above

We could somehow grasp the stars

And feel the warmth of wonder

 

But time has to play its part

Space keeps expanding, moving us away from what we used to know

Through a labyrinth of random events

To an alternate dimension of perceptions

 

Waves of questions will emerge throughout this expedition

Demanding answers about the world, about ourselves

Casting doubt on our hopes and dreams

Blurring our faith

 

Thus, build a sanctuary within our souls

To calm the fears, to quell the anxieties

To mind the thoughts, to guard the faith

To renew the hope, to nurture the dreams

To rekindle the spirit,

And foster the courage to face the day

 

***

 

Heart, beat steady

Find the balance once more

New Year Resolutions

So many people have made New Year resolutions. Some promise to quit smoking or lose weight. Some are focused on correcting their personality. Others place high value on achievement in knowledge and position. Most of them are great and noble, really.

I don’t know where I stand when it comes to making resolutions. I was once so enthusiastic about it, making goals high enough to reach the stars. However, life has its own course and some of those goals had to be postponed until an indefinite time in the future. I used to be so spirited about correcting bad habits. I have made a million pledges about keeping healthy and being productive. Little did I know that they were so easy to break. Now, I realize that I am denser than an ox. I keep falling into the same wretched hole. For the hundredth time, I acknowledge that I had failed yet again and now I am back to that big fat zero.

Zero. That is the number that should describe me right now. I have not only neglected my resolutions, but I have also repeatedly gone off the main road, taken a few wrong turns, tripped on the edge of the pavement, fallen through a hole, and dropped into my imaginary-yet-realistic-OCD-nightmare sewer. I might as well be a negative number since my personality curve has been descending for quite some time.

One. That’s the number I have always wanted to be. That’s where my resolutions have been directed at. I wanted to be the best at everything I set my mind to: school, career, social life. I wanted to be the one. It is ironic that it is just a number away from zero, but I haven’t been able to climb onto that one step. I kept tripping off the edge.

I remember the gloomy times when I thought resolutions were stupid. What good was it to make resolutions and break them? A lot of people break their resolutions on a regular basis. Why should I feel so darn guilty? I should just forget about them altogether and just go with the flow, live life as it is, let fate take its course, etc. I caught the habit of rationalizing to overcome my guilt and low self-esteem. This resulted in some content – but it was short-lived.

Now I am back to the present, back to figuring out what my stance on resolutions is. I realize that they should be different from life plans which are complex and ever adjusting to the uncertainties of life. So, I won’t resolve to do anything drastic like get married or go abroad. I should also abandon the self-destructive obsession to be number one. Currently, any positive number should be better than zero.

I refuse to admit that I am less motivated. In fact, I feel more confident than I have ever been. The fire inside of me is still ablaze. I will still strive to be the best. However, this time, the definition of the best is more personal. I want to be the best version of me. I have my own standards and my own pace. I shouldn’t hate myself when someone beats me to the finish line or gets a better score. There’s a point where comparing ourselves to others is more pathetic than it is motivating, don’t you think? Above all, it makes us lose ourselves and forget to be thankful for all the blessings that we have been given.

Another thing that makes us lose ourselves, in my opinion, is our past. Some of us had to experience unpleasant things, things that continue to haunt us in the present. It prevents us from being ourselves and creates soul-consuming fear. When I start spending too much time dwelling on the past, it makes me neglect the present and the prospect of any future. It makes me afraid to dream. Plus, the pessimistic version of me is far from attractive. I think this phenomenon doesn’t just happen to me.

So, I refuse to be haunted by the ghost of a past, no matter how dismal it is. The past should be there to teach us to be wiser and stronger, not to bring us down.

***

After all this rambling about the typical soul-searching issues of an individual like me, what is my point? In the end, I can think of one meaningful resolution to suit myself:

I want to be more grateful for everything. I thank Allah for my loving family, for all my friends, for my relatively sane mind, for my healthy body, for my current occupation, and last but not least, for the chance to be myself. After everything that has happened – the hardships, the confusion, and the hysteria – I am still here, alive and free, with all my blessings and so many opportunities to become a better version of me.

Therefore, this year, I present to you… Naya 1.1! She is driven, optimistic, and tough. She is full of wonderful dreams and isn’t afraid to achieve them. She believes in Allah and her religion. She loves her family and friends very much and she works hard to make them proud of her. Her passion is English Literature, music, and art but she is also interested in math, science, and computers. She enjoys going to the beach, the mountains, waterfalls, and caves but she hates getting dirty. She likes eating fresh and healthy food, especially vegetables and fruit – with the exception of fried duck, lamb, and steak .

She is both a workaholic and a couch potato. She is individualistic but easy-going. She is critical but absentminded. She is stubborn but amiable. She is just one person but she’s so much more…

She might sound like a bundle of contradictions, but she is certain of who she is and what she wants to be.

Like every individual, she is special and she cherishes this fact with all her heart.

She welcomes the New Year with a wave of enthusiasm for all the exciting things that may come.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Creating a Future Free from Deprivation

This is an essay that I made for the GOI Foundation essay Competition this year. It didn’t win (oh well) but I would like to share it anyway. Here is my essay with the theme “creating the future we want”.

A little boy hops off the sidewalk and into the main road as the traffic light turns red. Fancy cars line up behind the white line and motorcycles struggle to be in front, crossing the boundary as if it were the finish line in a street race. The little boy quickly finds a loose spot between the vehicles and starts to sing, shaking a little tin can filled with pebbles as his accompanying music. There he stands, a queer spectacle in his tattered clothes, all dirty from the dust and pollution contaminating the air.

After finishing his song, he walks around, stopping by each vehicle and holding out an empty plastic cup. Some people drop a coin into it. Others drop a paper bill or two. Then the light turns green and he runs back to the sidewalk, smiling gleefully at his earnings.

What he will use it for, we cannot know for sure. He might be a student struggling to pay his overdue school fee. He might be another homeless orphan making sure he doesn’t fall asleep hungry that night. Or, he might be one of the unwilling slaves from a street bully, trying to avoid the beating he’d get if he came back without enough earnings.

This is a small piece of the present that can possibly shape into a sinister future. The question is: is this what we want?

If you ask me about the kind of future I want for the world, I would inevitably have to look through the windows of my own country and other similar developing countries first. Here I still see massive deprivation: deprivation of food, housing, and education. Between the majestic towers of Jakarta, the fertile soil in Java, and the thick forests of Kalimantan, I see people suffering from the deprivation of their most basic needs.

If you look long and hard enough through those windows, you will see that the root of many problems is that deprivation. It is the essence of poverty. A mother kills all of her children and then commits suicide because she is unable to provide any food for her family. Groups of families mourn as they watch their cardboard houses fall victim to government evacuation procedures as a consequence for living on illegal government-owned premises. A teenager breaks into his neighbor’s house and steals money to pay for his overdue school fee. Then there are countless anarchist demonstrations, violence, and various criminal acts, mostly out of desperation to fulfill those basic needs.

I totally agree with beauty pageant contestants when they say that what we need most is world peace. However, I believe that the first step towards it is providing our people their most basic needs.

My dream is to create a future free from deprivation. People shall have enough food and decent shelter to live in. Every individual shall receive compulsory education and guidance to harness their potential and skills in order to sustain and develop their lives.

In the past, I have worked together with extraordinary individuals to establish a foundation that aims to help underprivileged societies in our neighborhood. We conduct weekly visits to rural areas and orphanages to give them food and clothes that people have donated through us. We tutor less fortunate children basic subjects like English, Math, and Science. We hold mini concerts in the park to raise money for books and school supplies. In the end, there is nothing more rewarding, more satisfying, than seeing the faces of these individuals light up as they receive what they need. It is so touching to be welcomed with cheers of merriment from the children every time we walk into their rooms with books and the prospect of new things to learn.

In the future, I want more homeless shelters, orphanages, and free schools. I want to build community centers where people can develop their competency and life skills with the support of professional counselors. In addition, we will give them plenty of opportunities for employment so they can work and become independent individuals.

I believe that a lot of international organizations, the government, and local NGO’s have already considered this in their agenda. Therefore, I am reaching out to all the individuals out there, who have passion and care for this issue. Set an example and raise awareness. Start from simple but meaningful things like helping out a homeless kid on the street. Be kind and generous to our less fortunate neighbors. If we aren’t equipped with enough material resources, we can always help out with our energy and spirit.

They say that one person can make a difference. Together, we can be a force that can change the world. So let’s help the people. Let’s create the future we want.

Crocheting for the Blues

Do you have a special activity that helps you bust the blues? Mine is crocheting… tada! The whole process of turning and twisting the thread in and out of loops helps me to calm my nerves and think straight. In the end, I not only find a solution to my bundle of problems, I get a pretty accessory or ornament I can smother my pride on (before I get fed up with it).

Anyway, I am recommending this activity for anyone out there looking for a quiet and productive means to absorb any negative energy and transform it into a positive charge. I would also like to show off (I bet you saw that one coming, didn’t you? Hahaha…) some of the things I’ve made. Unfortunately, I had a limited amount of thread. I used leftovers to make these. They’re supposed to be flower brooches, by the way, in case you hadn’t guessed (or it sadly doesn’t resemble what it’s supposed to be). What do you think? Do I have any talent? ;)